Telescoping History of Medicine 2,000,000 B.C.

Sign Language; eat this root
2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root ”
600 AD. Eat that Nigella.
1000 A.D. That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1920 A.D. – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1945 A.D. – That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antiseptic penicillin.
1955 A.D. – Oops….germ mutated. Here, take this tetracycline.
1960-2000 – 39 more “oops. more germs mutated”…. Here, take this more powerful antibiotic, if you can afford it. 20% of North Americans cannot, 80% of the world cannot.
2001 A.D. – The bugs have won! Cipro failed and besides we can’t afford it. Here, eat this garlic.

Evolution of Zoopharmacognosy

(Dates subject to change with each new issue of Science)
8,000,000 years ago: One chimp to another “I have a tummy ache…” (In chimpanzeze, rubbing tummy) “Here, chimp, eat these bitter herbs!” (In chimpanzeze)
5,000,000 years ago. “Here, Hominid, eat these bitter herbs (in hominidese)
3,000,000 years ago: “Here, Homo. eat these bitter herbs and leave some for the Leakey’s to find!” (in humanoid sign language)
2,000,000-1,000,000 years ago. Welcome to the Levant, the crossroads out of Africa. You’d best rest and eat before you radiate out to the rest of the world.
2500 B.C. – “Here, eat these bitter herbs!!” (in Arabic, Coptic, Farsi and Hebrew).
0 AD. – “The saviour is borne! Faith can heal. Eat these bitter herbs( if faith should fail!.)”
600 A. D. Garlic and saffron are revulsive, try this black cumin. |
1200 A.D. – “Those bitter herbs aren’t Christian. Careful with those bitters!.”
1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this bitter potion!”
1900 A.D. – “That bitter potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this bitter pill!”
1950 A.D. – “That bitter pill is ineffective. Here, take this bitter antibiotic!”
2,000 A.D. – That bitter antibiotic is artificial, ineffective and toxic; besides all the microbes are resistant, and some even feed on it (even vancomycin ). Here, eat these bitter herbs. And pray they will help you (95% of Americans, but only 33% of psychologists, are reported to pray) (In comatose Hale-Bopp cometese, like the late “Dr. Do” {of Diddle Do and Twiddle Ti})
Do, re. Mi Fa so La ti Do.)

James A. “Jim” Duke, Botanical Consultant, Herbal Vineyard, Inc.